Drop dead, Diva

One time I was super hungry and short on time so I ran to a small Mexican restaurant next door and ordered a chicken burrito. It wasn’t great, but it was edible and I was starving so I nomnomnomed it until I felt a crunch. There was a bone in …

Drinking and a little hot tub action

This week’s Bachelor Pad set feminism back seventy years with a challenge called “Hot Sludge Fun Day” in which our bikini-clad lady contestants swam through a sea of ice cream, rolled around in hot fudge and covered themselves with nuts. For reals.Why did they consent to participate in such a …

He’s the one who knocks

As of last night I am completely caught up on Breaking Bad. It took two weeks. Meanwhile I’m still reading the same book I started five months ago. Me FTW. Remember when Walter White was a protagonist?At the end of the pilot episode I said, “Poor Walt.”At the end of …

Your “Make It Work” Moment

That collar is made of gummy sharks. IKR?! When Stephen saw me watching the latest episode of Project Runway, he said “That show is still on?” Of course it’s still on. This show will outlive us all except for Heidi Klum because she doesn’t age. As long as there are …

personality for days, yo

Another week, another episode of Bachelor Pad, another reason to run away live off the grid where TV can never find me, forever.Where do these people come from, and do they not realize that this show is televised? To the nation? To THEIR PARENTS?The theme of these week is best demonstrated …