Ten Surprising Facts About Survivor

1. Survivor contestants have dual citizenship. Before filming, every Survivor contestant is required to go through the rigorous process of becoming a citizen of the country in which the season is being filmed. As a result, the Survivor voting bloc in Palau was so formidable in 2007 that for a time …

Survivor S. 34 Wk. 13: Finale

Tonight was the 1,100-hour-long Survivor finale and as usual, I refuse to fully recap it. I don’t know why they do this. Every season they drag it all out for an eternity and then suddenly when there are a dozen people left they’re like “let’s have ten tribal councils in the …

Survivor S. 34 Wk. 12: Two Votes

If you remember, Sierra got voted out last week. And like 10 seconds after it happened, my friend Emily texted me and said that she saw Sierra roller-blading around Liberty Park in Salt Lake City WHICH IS THE PARK BY MY HOUSE and I immediately freaked out but then I …

Survivor S. 34 Wk. 11: Family Matters

So, elephant in the room. Daddy abandoned you and didn’t even say goodbye and now you’re all really mad. I actually have a gif that features every single one of you. And I did something even worse than leaving you. I put you in the hands of the angry mob boss, …

Survivor S. 34 Wk. 10

Eli is still on a different continent, so here I am for my second, and hopefully last ever, Survivor recap. I know. I’m sorry. The episode starts with more night vision. Because if you pay big money for that kind of technology you had better use it as often as …

Survivor S. 34 Wk. 9: BooBoo Fool

Without consulting me or following the protocol set in place for requesting time off, Eli suddenly up and headed to Transylvania or somewhere like unto it. And as the train departed the station he stuck his head out the window, and barely audible over the increasingly loud chugs of the …